It is very possible that my dream of Jesus last night was just my own mind coming up with things. However, it is also possible that Jesus really did show up. In Biblical times God also communicated through dreams and I believe He still does it today. I understand in Biblical dreams everything was very symbolic and had to be deciphered, but who’s to say today that Jesus Himself will appear in your dream. Also, the other reason I believe it was truly Jesus I saw last night was because I have only dreamed of Jesus once before. I don’t dream about Jesus everyday of my life in other words. Only twice now in my 26 years.
The first time I dreamed of Jesus I was having a hard time with my religion. I struggled to know the truth. At the time I guess you could say I was doubting my faith. I had always grown up Christian. I was dating a Muslim and it was in college. We had decided that we would learn about each other’s faiths to be fair and I think we were both hoping the other would convert. I had no intentions of converting, but then I starting thinking “Well, just because I was raised this way doesn’t necessarily mean it is right.” So I started looking at things much more objectively. I started really considering what Islam means and if it could be right. I struggled back and forth for awhile, trying to figure out how I could decipher the truth. Finally, one night before I fell asleep in tears, I cried out to God and I said, “God, show me the right way. Show me the truth.” That night I had a very vivid dream of a man that was glowing. I couldn’t see His face, but He was like floating and had His arms outstretched. He didn’t say anything, but at the same time there was some sort of mind communication and although I didn’t say anything to Him in the dream either, in my mind, I was saying “I am so sorry for doubting you.” Almost involuntarily when He appeared I quickly went down on my knees and put my face to the ground. In my dream, I knew He was God. You see in Islam, they do not recognize Jesus as God or as a savior. That is the biggest difference between the two religions. They are similar in many ways, but there are a lot of ways they are not similar. Without Christ, there is no forgiveness of sins. In Islam, you are judged based on a scale of your number of rights and wrongs. I quickly woke up after that dream in a sweat in the middle of the night and asked myself “Did I just see Jesus?” I believe I had. Needless to say, I no longer questioned my faith. For some people, a dream is not enough to convince them of truth. For those people, I believe God wouldn’t use a dream. But God knew me well. And He still knows me today…
… I don’t remember if I was fasting during the time I had that first dream of Jesus. I know I had fasted some during that time of doubt. Fasting is a great way to connect with God and interrupt the physical world. Today and yesterday I am fasting, but not for religious reasons. Haha, I uh, decided to give the Hollywood diet a try. I have these 2 days off from work and it seemed like the best time to do it. It requires no food and you drink this juice throughout the day. I have lost 5 lbs in the first day as they said I would, but 5 lbs of what is the question 
Anyhow, I’m thinking that although I’m not fasting on purpose, it probably had some bearing on the situation.
I lost a very dear friend of mine this past December to suicide. He was an ex-boyfriend and someone I loved very dearly. We had just broken up about 2 months before he did it. I had dated him for 3 years. My life pretty much revolved around him. I knew he had depression and I did everything I could to try to make it go away, to make him happy. But as depression would have it, he kept pushing me away and moving further and further away physically. He originally lived in my town, then moved 3 hours away to his parents, then many hours away to NYC. There came a point where he was planning on coming back to where I live, which would have been a dream come true. However, I began to doubt the relationship. It had had it’s ups and downs and I realized I couldn’t live like this for the rest of my life. It was slowly destroying me. I had no more joy and had gone into depression myself. In trying to save him, I lost myself. I really just needed a break to see things in a different light. So I broke up with him. It really was a dramatic change in me. So dramatic that people that don’t even know me that well started asking me what was going on – they said I looked so much happier, healthier, that I had a glow about me. I also should add, while I was with this guy, my relationship with God began to falter. Not in the beginning, but towards the end. I think that’s where my depression really took hold. I wasn’t at the stage of suicide, but I was not myself either.
I just wanted to give you a brief understanding of the situation. I had encouraged my boyfriend to go to church, and tried to get him to get help. I wanted to help him as much as I could. I wanted to always be there for him. I felt like this was a mission from God even. When I heard of his death, I lost it. I hadn’t spoken to him since Halloween when he called. He did it on Nov 11. I miss him so much. Just as a friend really. Sometimes I’ll see something that I know he would like and I want to show it to him, but he’s not here.
I had a deep fear that he might not be in Heaven. I wanted to believe he was, but we all know that only God truly knows the hearts of men. He had written in a letter that he wanted all his money donated to charity and he asked for his funeral to be preachy. I wasn’t allowed to the funeral. He didn’t want me there because he claimed I didn’t want to be a part of his life. I very much wanted to be a part of his life, but I didn’t want to be a part of his death. I didn’t feel that me being with him was really helping him. I realized this when he one day admitted to me that he had attempted suicide numerous times while we were together. Was he in heaven was the big question. I kept telling myself he was but I was never at peace. Honestly, a part of me wanted to die right then and there to find out.
I’m not sure why I dreamed the following dream last night and not sooner. Perhaps it is because of the fasting, I’m not sure. But God showed up last night. I had first had a dream about my ex, which isn’t unusual. I’ve had many of those where I’m trying to save him and succeed, or we’re just hanging out again like old times. So last night, I had a dream that he was back from the dead and for some reason I was in Germany and I began crying when I saw him. I don’t really know why…I think I was scared in this dream. Then much later into the night, all I remember is seeing Jesus. Not like I did before, He wasn’t glowing or anything, but I don’t remember His face. I just remember he was in a blue robe with a white sash, much like you see in the pictures. I went up to him and the dialog is different. I asked in reference to my ex “Can I make a bed for him so he is more comfortable?” I knew what I meant in the dream, I meant give him something to give him comfort in Hell. And Jesus replied. I don’t remember the words exactly now. I wish I had written them down when I woke up in the middle of the night now. But he said something like “My Child, why do you seek to make a bed for him, when he is already comforted?” In fell along the same lines of “Why do you seek the living among the dead” when Mary Magdalen when to perfume Jesus corpse at the tombstone and the angel said that to her. In my dream, before that interchange, I had been weeping out of fear that my ex was in Hell. After Jesus said this, I ran to Him and hugged Him for so long and he embraced me and I had tears still, but they were such happy tears. I knew my ex was in Heaven. When I woke up, I had more peace than I have ever had about this situation. And when I began to doubt again, I will remember this. Thank you God for giving me peace. And you know, looking back, all my other dreams about my ex, me saving him and hanging out with him like old times…perhaps, I did help save him in the spiritual sense and one day we will hang out again like old times in Heaven.
